


warmth

by d1onysus



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Field Trip, Hurt Tony Stark, I'll add more as I go, Misunderstandings, Misunderstood Tony, Multi, Steve is a little shit, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, Tony-centric, euthanize me, gosh theres so much tony _____, like srsly, oh god i just said gosh, someone put me down
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:28:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d1onysus/pseuds/d1onysus
Summary: tony wasn’t good with words, the whole “making friends” thing or even people in general, contrary to popular belief. hell, he couldn’t hold a normal conversation with his favourite teacher Mr. Yinsen under optimal circumstances (usually including a highly stressed teacher and a very drunk minor).so when he accidentally ends up making friends with well, a whole group of misfits with a lot of issues, tony thinks he’s maybe found the one place he can say he belongs to completely.(aka tony’s consequential breakdowns throughout this amazing headache of a story).
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 17





	1. would eating fat new york rats help my sobriety

**Author's Note:**

> “i am tired of life and its obscure sufferings.”  
> ― sketiana, on some post about wet clothes (https://sketiana.tumblr.com/)
> 
> -
> 
> baboey
> 
> gm or gn idk it depends. but like greetings? im a mess.
> 
> so, anyways, welcome to this story. just gotta warn u tho, i'm an idiot who has like only some of the plot planned and less than half of the story actually planned and written out. i kinda make tony go thro some stuff but really, what author doesnt't? also watch out wanda fans, i kinda make her a little rude in the first part of the story bcs of, y'know, chracterization and all that jazz along with wanda being a ball of unbridled rage that she lets out on unfortunate people. 
> 
> and like i have not decided on the relationship, which i guess is obvious if u read the tags, but like im open to suggestions? so comment ur preference and i'll see.
> 
> poing poing  
> \- bye, leave comments and kudos if u enjoyed!!

Tony was without a doubt, unquestionably done with his drunken shenanigans. They’d started pretty dull and harmless, where Tony would wake up to whatever item his drunken self had deemed worthy of purchase the previous night, or a small trinket he might have found on the street. Tony had decided to keep his credit card more secluded and harder to find after an incident involving a shopping cart, 3 kilograms of Kit Kat's, and a _very_ angry Pepper.

So, waking up and finding himself in an alleyway surrounded by dumpsters, the occasional rat that looked about the size of his brain (which was to say they were like the size of Megamind's forehead like what kind of steroids were present in the dumpsters of new york?), and the obvious puke stains near where Tony lay, was what he would call “not an emergency”.

At least not before he started to get surrounded by said rats in the handfuls and the dumpsters started smelling more and more like his experimental cooking before Mama stepped in and forced him to learn how to cook so she wouldn't be embarrassed at the yearly family gatherings in the small Carbonelli home.

His headache was going to be tremendous and since winter break ended in what Tony guessed was a few more hours, going to school was not going to be particularly enticing. Wonderful. Just spectacular.

This situation was quite the Tony-esque experience.

Or at least that was what Rhodey would’ve called it if he’d been there. He would at least have made sure Tony wouldn’t have had to wake up in his vomit alone and they would have freaked out about the insanely awful smelling dumpsters together. Pepper would have had 5 aneurysms by now trying to fix Tony’s tie and curly unkempt hair. Or maybe she would have gone for the stains on his white shirt (no longer white at least that was for sure) with nothing but a handkerchief and steely determination. Knowing her, she might have managed to scrub at least some of the irreparable stains off, enough for Tony to look presentable in front of- well whoever was going to be at home when he returned.

Tony decided with a bitten back sob, that a) he was still slightly drunk or at least the effects of last night’s party had not yet worn off, and b) he missed his best friends.

Maybe he wasn’t just slightly drunk but tipping over to the highly tipsy side of the drunk Tony scale. 

(which meant he was still considerably under the influence, as tony's endurance to alcohol was honestly baffling but not that surprising considering tony drank whiskey before he started drinking coffee, and he could down vodka faster than water).

For the nth time, an unbelievably humongous rat crawled over his dress shoes and scurried towards a dumpster. Tony bit back another sob as he tried his best not to linger on the fact that these dress shoes were the ones he had gotten from Aunt Peggy and the refined leather was going to be very hard to find and replace.

He was a mess.

Tony decided that he had finally gone crazy. He’d already been on the verge of crying twice and, it only looked like it was 8:00 am because the sun was still slightly rising from the east. And one of the reasons had been for a shoe, and even more precisely, _the fucking precious leather on the shoe was what almost made him lose control over his emotions_.

He was losing it- the alcohol and whatever else he'd been doing last night had finally gotten to his head.

Following the trail of vomit to what he thought was the way out of this twisty maze-like labyrinth of alleys, Tony found his phone (mercifully) without any vomit or rats nearby. Thanking as many gods as he’d known or remembered, Tony ringed up Happy forgetting for a second what kind of consequences he would most likely face when he reached home and came face to face with his _beloved_ father.

The idea of a nice warm bath, new clothes, a fluffy clean bed, and the prospect of getting to skip the first day back to school from the holidays, were great distractions for Tony’s mind as he waited for Happy to answer him.

_Coffee_ , Tony thought, _I almost forgot coffee on that list_ , as Happy's voice filtered through his phone.

~

Ok so maybe explaining how you ditched a nice evening dinner with your father’s millionaire company’s associates to go to a sketchy rave at a nearby empty construction site was not the appropriate response to, “Now where exactly the fuck have you been, Mr. Stark?” to your private driver’s concerningly red face. But Tony wasn’t exactly the type of person who lived his life by the book, and after all, rules were made to be broken weren’t they?

And admittedly, this wasn’t his best idea, but to be honest, he was always one-upping himself with his newer and crazier (and occasionally deadlier) ideas.

Exhibit A; even Tony had admitted that being rivals with Hammer-time, or even Kill would have been better than to appoint the feral boy he met in a situation quite like this, his rival. Ivan had pulled out a knife and attacked Tony before he could have said "fuck, _again,_ ". 

After he'd disarmed the guy, he found out about his father wronging _another person_.

It was slowly becoming less funny and more concerning how much damage his father had done to reach where he was as the number of people who tried their level best to hurt Tony only increased at an exponential rate.

Convincing the boy took way too many awkward pauses, opening up (tony decided he was never doing that again, nope thank you, talking about what made him tick and taking off all of his masks felt way too intimate but it was that or getting gutted in a nondescript alley. tony wanted to take his chances in a fight but he was not in the right condition to do anything but whimper and use his best puppy eyes. he hadn't expected it to _work_.) and eventually showing Vanko the clusterfuck that was his chest got him to back off. Vanko had given a gruff grunt and then left Tony to shiver quietly in the tense silence of the alley. Tony had thought that that had been the end of their conversation until the rough boy was back with a scowl telling him to follow and not lie around lazily.

To the chagrin, and surprise of others and the two of them included, although only in the surprise part, they became something of friends. 

Tony named their little friendship the Science Bros. Ivan and Pepper decided on the Idiots, and Rhodey referred to their pair as the Smartasses Who're Also Dumbasses Who Need Rescuing From Their Own Sorry Asses Every Time They’re Left Alone Near Each Other.

Maybe Ivan would like a pet rat, considering he was strangely infatuated with the bird they'd rescued once trying out a rocket made solely out of coke bottle caps.

Tony tried to get back on track with his explanation of last night's events as gifting Ivan a rat wasn’t the issue or concern at hand, it wasn’t how he was going to weasel himself out of this particular situation and try to reason with Happy how finding a fat new york rat in Tony’s stupidly expensive suit wasn’t in fact, a fever dream but his disappointing reality. At this point, Tony had given up trying to differentiate between the two, there was no difference anyway.

Besides, he had to explain Happy in a sparknotes version of how a small 15-year-old that looked 12 had gotten himself inside a rave and then to some high-end scotch.

A spectacular morning indeed.

~

Tony found out that clapping him on the back, and applauding Tony’s acting skills was not the initial or gut response to Tony’s amusing re-enactment of his adventures last night. In reality, it was getting redder and fuming at him about manners and self-etiquette. Then scolding him about alcohol consumption and its consequences. And after that, sitting in silence and then giving an inappropriately timed sputtering laugh at the fifth fat rat to crawl out of his suit. 

Tony decided that the next one that crawled out was getting smoked and then added to the list of ingredients in Tony's experimental kebab. The little gremlins had no respect for comedic timing or trying to stay serious to prevent any more scolding.

Happy was finally over his initial “Tony what the fuck,” phase and was moving on to the “What the fuck is happening, why did I apply to this job,” phase with the window that connected the two of them in the car now closed.

A pleasant change.

Now that Tony wasn’t getting lectures anymore, he could clean himself to the best of his abilities and then try his best to convince Happy to sneak him inside the mansion, change and then hopefully get to skip school. Then Tony remembered that Ana and Jarvis were back from Liverpool with Aunt Peggy for a bit and how they would be very disappointed if Tony skipped the very first day of school.

Tony was about 2 hours late from the beginning of the day today, but he never showed up on time anyway so, none of his teachers would be particularly concerned.

Besides, being fashionably late was Tony’s thing. 

Showing up on time would have catastrophic effects, his teachers would smile at him, he’d receive good morning’s from his seatmates, and even more horrible, he’d have to pretend to pay attention and care for longer. Tony would have to check his pulse to make sure he wasn’t having his obligatory nightmare of the day.

Tony tried picturing calm waves then realized waves meant water and water meant- _breathe, just breathe and hold on for just a little longer a little more and then they'll leave you and yinsen alone for the day just stay calm-_

Tony gasped out of the silent prison that was his mind, by clenching his hands so hard he drew blood. 

Taking deep breaths and hauling himself out of his hallucinations by thinking about what made him feel safe (Jarvis, quiet mornings with Mama's piano leaking through closed doors, Rhodey and him taking their first drinks with their stolen scotch on the rooftops, Peter telling him how much he looked up to him, Pepper's "Will that be all, Mr. Stark?", T'challa's silent and comforting presence, Shuri and Riri talking a mile a minute and arguing about everything and nothing, Harley making a potato gun that could also shoot bullets and then grinning when he said the bullets were just really small potato wedges, Ana’s meringue pie, Aunt Peggy calling him ducky and Aunt Angie whispering to him in italian about how Uncle Daniel needed new cologne-), Tony looked out at the looming building that was Stark Manor from the side of his window and knocked on the glass that separated him and Happy to indicate to him to go faster. Tony didn't see any cars which would mean a quiet and peaceful morning.

He decided to pad through his clothes to make sure there was absolutely nothing hidden inside his clothes that drunk him had decided to buy. Strangely enough Tony found a new StarkPad as if Tony couldn’t build himself a better one for free easily. 

He’d never understand his drunken persona, but maybe drunk Tony was trying to see if the latest model was good. Probably not, but the thought of getting to upgrade something was nice.

And nice thoughts were what Tony needed when he noticed the familiar sleek Mercedes Benz parked in the enormous entryway.

Uncle Obie was here, which would mean small talk and hearing his father’s poorly hidden rage and disappointment.

The morning was looking to be quite the joy. 

~

Hiding his bruises with an untucked collar was easy, it looked like he was going for a ruffled, ‘just woke up’ kind of look while also successfully hiding the black blue patterns he’d received on his throat from the rave he'd ended up at. 

Thinking about things he could look forward to while being driven to school by Happy was enough of a reprieve from the constant ebb and flow of his awful photographic memory. If God was real, Tony wanted a refund on his memory because that shit _did not help_.

And having an almost-flashback in the back of the car was surely not helping any matters either.

Tony turned his focus on his school, S.H.I.E.L.D High. It was a nice enough place- it didn’t have Rhodey's laugh, Pep's loving nagging, Peter's hurried sentences that he spoke without a break, Stephen's haughty glares, T'challa and Shuri's warmth, Riri's smug grin or Miles' creativeness seeping out and staining everywhere- quite literally -but it did have Mr. Yinsen, an awkwardly nice nurse by the name of Mrs. Rogers, and a nice enough student population to leave Tony alone and not mess with him with anything but words.

Well, most of the time. His childhood rival but more like his father's business rival that wasn't a business rival's son/old best friend which was a term that retired a long time ago/maybe something more but they never really talked about it/classmate, Tiberius Stone was like a thorn in his peaceful high school days (which didn't exist) but Tony was willing to let Ty stay as long as the bozo didn’t jeopardize anything.

Such as his reputation or his grades.

One of which was too far gone to be worried and fussed over now but Tony liked to act like a normal kid so he could pretend for just a second, deep in his mind that he was being driven to quaint and cozy public school by his office-worker father in sweats and a casual Metallica shirt filled with the aroma of freshly baked croissants by his mother who waited for him to return from school at home with more baked goods.

Instead of him getting driven to school by a driver, the smell of bourbon and coffee rolling off of him like fumes, his uniform ruffled and looking like it was naturally that messy to hide the bruises he couldn't apply any concealer to, with eyebags heavier than his suitcase.

_Maybe the croissant thing's a reach_ , he thought.

Tony was only slightly aware that normal children didn’t start their day with a handmade chocolate croissant from their mothers but this was Tony’s imagination and he didn't have much source material to base his daydreams on except for the fact he should have two parents present in them.

Tony didn’t even like breakfast, he never consumed anything except for a cup of black coffee, with enough caffeine to get him through 5 hours of anyone taking their stress out on Tony. Specifically his body.

_Okayyyy, steering out of that territory,_ Tony thought.

Coffee was the one constant from his pre-Jarvis-childhood, it had gotten him through faint migraines, and a lot more proven from his past experiences. Even the painkillers did help, even though Tony would never admit that because that would be the equal of acknowledging his deteriorating health.

Thinking about his painkillers reminded Tony of his bedside table and- _gotta clean that up before Da- Howard finds that mess. Did I miss anything? I don't think I needed to bring anything assignment related-_ Tony let his thoughts stop as he patted his hoodie pockets to realize he left most of his meds at home.

_Of course, I just forget my necessary medication for the- goddamn everything. Absolutely fucking wonderful Tony you eloquent dumbass you forgot the fucking sleep meds and the anxiety and all the other shit all because you were trying to mix the coffee with Howard’s bourbon to see if that would be enough to wake you up and keep you alert you should know better by now, this day is going to be a fucking disaster I’m going to need a nap or like 20-_

“Tony we reached your dorms," Happy hauled his luggage out and pulled Tony out of the car, "And you’re just in time for…. I think that says science but to be honest with you I think I’m going to need glasses and a Tylenol prescription after trying to read your writing. Call me if you need anything- anything at all. Whether that's your favourite wrench or beetle plushie or your dumb Keürig machine. Whatever you need.”

Tony gave Happy a small goodbye kiss on his cheek and headed into the dorm hall doors, lugging his stuff behind him. In the next break, Tony was going to pack as little as possible so he wouldn't have to lift his suitcase on the stairs leading up to his room.

"Stay safe, Tonio," Happy called from behind him and Tony shot him his rare, genuine smile.

"Always."

Maybe this semester everyone would just leave him the fuck alone and keep to their business. That would be the perfect year. Or a few months. However much time a semester was- it would be a perfect that.

~

But the world had collectively decided to ignore all of Tony’s wishes and have the entire population of Earth in on it except for, of course, Tony.

That was the only reasonable explanation as to why Mr. Richards decided Tony needed a new seating buddy and moved Tony’s designated spot from this dusty glassy-eyed kid that muttered nonsense that was for sure poetry of some kind in a language that Tony didn't know- which had been a surprise -and was always looking like he’d snorted a little too much before walking into class. Tony was sure he was going to need whatever this guy was on later in the year when he wanted a distraction so he didn't want to move. His new seatmate was well, for the lack of a better term, not Tony's type for anything. He was the stereotypical quote-unquote 'nerd', the kind that pushed their glasses up, fidgeted and _took notes in class_.

Imagine the blasphemy of actually writing down the kindergartener level science Mr. Richards taught.

_In. A. Notebook._

To review later? To bore yourself from the mind-numbing dumbed-down explanations? 

The idea was so preposterous that Tony almost walked back to his previous seat and asked the guy for some of whatever it was that he was on and go share it with him because he was in dire need that instant.

Tony stifled back his outburst of rage and impending tears and realized that maybe the scotch was still somewhere in his system.

With a sigh, Tony pulled out his schematics for his latest robot he wanted to build, better than DUM-E, a helper bot that _helped_.

Maybe two arms this time, and at least a hint of genius in it so it could operate properly, and maybe a voice- preferably Morgan Freeman’s that would only say-

“Uh- Stark? Hey?"

The urgent whispers caught Tony off guard and he winced in response to his neck bending towards the voice at breakneck speed.

His new seatmate was trying to get him to close his notebook, and from that Tony deduced a) he didn't mind this new kid and b) Mr. Richards was probably staring right over his shoulder at his frantic notes about his new bot.

Tony heard a small hmm of acknowledgment and a whispered feature that he could add to help the motors run better and then the feeling of someone breathing down his neck disappeared.

“Well, we’ll be moving on now to the next topic. And Mr. Stark would be so kind as to join us this time?” Mr. Richards let Tony off the hook and didn't poke or prod.

Tony grinned and gave a small nod and an equally enthusiastic “Of course.” and then went back to his notes as soon as Mr. Richards turned his back.

_Maybe this won’t be such a bad semester after all, despite the rocky start_ , Tony thought as he doodled a small cup of coffee in the bot's hand- he would get bigger hands than DUM-E because Tony liked bigger cups for his morning coffee fumes, occasionally.


	2. do i have piles or is my ass just unbearably itchy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “one of the first signs of the beginning of understanding is the wish to die.”  
> ― franz kafka

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> baboey
> 
> greetings y'all.
> 
> thinking is so hard, i swear. writing is harder for no reason.
> 
> i really want a mullet sO BAD,, but my parents said no and then i had a breakdown and then i didn't bcs my parents offered to buy me a bass guitar.
> 
> 🤘i CANNOT wait to move out fr🤘
> 
> also, hb to coryxkenshin, that man is like 28 now!! check him out if u like gaming youtubers!! 
> 
> i wrote a fanfic for english class, so when i finish that i'll post that soon.
> 
> the story is progressing like real slow, so strap in bois. we're going to go turtlespeed. also i decided on stuckony, bcs why not, and also bcs it'll be a lot of angst for tony.

Tony woke up to an empty bed, no coffee wafted through his closed door, no soft piano notes permeated his room from Mama's secret room down the hallway, no Jarvis informing him of the date, time, and place as he pulled Tony out of bed, with Ana's laughter in the background. 

With a jolt, he rose from the bed and tumbled with his duvet, still covering him, to the floor. His cheek smushed against the cool hardwood floor and, Tony vaguely remembered the stupid rave he'd insisted on going and how he hadn't had any time to stave off the headaches and hide how bad his eye bags had gotten.

Not that a little makeup couldn't fix that up pretty quickly. Tony noticed some bruises covering his collarbone and throat- he'd gotten into a fight at the party. 

(again).

Which would be a lot of pain to explain and, Tony did not want to go through having Mr. Coulson look at him with the slightly down-turned eyebrows.

All the kids would just leave him alone anyways wouldn't they?

Tony gave a quiet huff at that and tugged the duvet, and the tumble of pillows that fell with it to the floor, up and on the bed. S.H.I.E.L.D High somehow managed to have more gossip and rumours floating out and about than even Accordion High, and Accordion had Christine.

S.H.I.E.L.D wasn't that bad of an alternative considering he wasn't that alone, but there were certainly a lot more kids who hated him here. By a considerable margin.

But huffing about how unfair it was that he was always in the spotlight wasn't the best way for him to make a point, considering that Tony had grown up in the limelight since he was a baby. Complaining about being stared at now wouldn't affect anyone. Besides, no one would believe him anyway.

Brushing was an ordeal in and of itself and the idea of the shower wasn't making him look forward to anything. At least Tony had no bathtub inside. Finding out that bathtubs just didn't do it for him anymore was terrifying and embarrassing and Tony was really happy when Yinsen and he demolished it and used the (porcelain? tony had no idea he was too focused on the fact that the bathtub was _gone_ ) material on some other insignificant project.

As soon as he was out of the bathroom and within reach of his clothes Ty burst through his door whining about some kind of hiking field trip.

Tony only barely managed to throw himself on the bed and cover himself with his duvet as Ty looked at him as if he expected an answer and Tony vaguely realized that Ty had kept talking-

"Want to switch in my group?" Ty smiled briefly before throwing him his concealer and some foundation.

"There are groups already?" Tony asked back as he got up to head to the mirror by his door keeping his nether regions covered with his duvet dragging behind him like a Disney princess' ball gown.

"Apparently. Some kid- y'know the one whose last name is- Barter? Batter? I don't remember but, he was whining and just being a dick about how you were in his group."

"Ugh, Barton? That's my group? Maybe I'll switch to your group Toblerone, but most likely not, y'know how Mr. Coulson gets with assigned groups."

"Promise you'll look into it? I don't want you to have to deal with that group for a week on a mountain."

"Don't worry I'm like 34% sure that Wanda won't kill me with other people present in the tent," Tony grinned and made grabby hands at his uniform laid out next to Ty's sprawled out body on his bed.

"One of these days I'm going to set Ivan on her and by the end, she'll be the cowering and snivelling one," Ty threw his clothes and caught the concealer and foundation to put back in his backpack.

"Mmm, I'd want to see that fight just to see how angry Ivan could get at someone that isn't me."

"Probably not a lot, considering how you manage to somehow give him a heart attack every time you go down in your lab together."

"Hey, _I'm_ the one with heart problems remember?"

"Which reminds me, I didn't see any of your meds or your event recorder in your bag. Seriously Tonio at this rate you shouldn't have even shown up to school."

"Don't worry too much about that, Ms. Sarah loves me. She lets me call her Ms. Sarah."

"Only 'cuz you kept forgetting her last name."

"I had a concussion that is not fair to-"

" _Le knock knock_ ," A muffled voice came from the door.

"You expecting someone?" Ty looked up at him.

"Not really but maybe it's just Kill or Hammy deciding to pain me in the morning."

"Well, they said _le knock knock_ and seeing how everyone else is at Accordion or still in winter break, it's either one of those two."

"Or it's both of us," Justin opened the door and pushed a bruised Aldrich to Tony's bed.

"You could hear us?"

"Who can't? You wake up at like 9:00 and Ty wakes up at like 6:00 and both of you make a commotion just by yourselves and when you're together I'm pretty sure Fury avoids our part of the dorm like it has fat rats to make sure he doesn't get a headache in the morning."

"Speaking of fat rats, yesterday I woke up alone- clothed don't give me that look Hammy -covered in vomit and fat new york rats scurrying all over me. It was a spiritual experience," Tony said as he got to work on hiding Aldrich's bruises decorating his waist.

"That's disgusting," Aldrich spoke as Tony started dabbing foundation on his hips.

"You want to know what's disgusting? Getting a rash on your ass." Justin said from Tony's bathroom.

"I don't have any rash ointment, I could ask Ms. Sarah, but seeing how you barged in without any warning, I might not."

"I have rash ointment but, it's hidden somewhere in my last year's locker," Ty spoke from under the blanket burrito he was making of himself.

"Which is now whose locker?" Aldrich said as Tony started packing his backpack and checking if he had everything he needed inside.

"Barnes," Ty said.

"We have amazing luck, don't we," Justin said as he looked in Tony's cabinets to magically find some leftover ointment.

"I mean, I'm most likely in their group for the hiking thingie, so I'm not sacrificing myself this morning. And the school doesn't even know why I would throw myself under a freight train just for you, considering how we hate each other."

"Oh yeah, forgot that bit."

"Then I can go- me and Hammy talk sometimes so people won't think it's weird that I'm getting something for him," Aldrich said.

"Yeah, but the two of you and I never interact in positive situations so no one's going to believe that I let you borrow rash ointment," Ty said.

"Well the only option then is I go to Ms. Rogers, explain the situation, get her permission to do this awful plan, then I head on to Barnes' dorm and ask if I could please have the rash ointment that the previous owner left in the locker and then I head back here either beaten up or with the rash ointment or both," Tony rushed out before his brain could convince how this was a horrible idea but, really, Justin needed to sit down and if he didn't have the ointment that rash was going to give him a limp.

And honestly, the prospect of having to do gym with Rumlow with a limp was like asking for imminent death. On top of that, the unit they were currently suffering was dodgeball which- honestly who decided that dodgeball would be a good idea to let kids play in school. Tony was 45% (78% on the days that he had to go through the sacrificial ritual that was dodgeball) that dodgeball was a registered form of war.

Seriously the number of times he'd gotten sent to the nurse just because of a headshot was concerning. Not for anyone else- other than Justin, Ty and Aldrich which was just sad that he had fewer friends here but, it wasn't that big of a deal (at least it wasn't a public school, was what tony would console himself with whenever the nights got too lonely and cold).

Which brought him back to thinking on how exactly he could help Hammer-time get through hell.

"That's an awful plan- I'll come with you." Ty grinned and made his way to the door, eager to either get beat up or beat someone up- all of them were almost always eager for physical pain after they returned from a break with their parents. It always helped them feel something.

Being rich didn't solve any problems, but the trauma certainly gave you a hell of designer baggage and a very small group that you could pick friends that wouldn't sell all your secrets to the media or kill you out from.

It did give them the ability to root out untrustworthy people though, so that had been a pro.

"I'll get Justin to lie down and we'll try our best- and yes, our very best this time -to not get any stains on your bed."

"You shouldn't even be doing anything that could stain my pristine sheets, and if you do, this time I will let Jarvis lose on you two."

"Do you want us to die?" Justin groaned and peeked from the crook of his elbow to look at up Tony and Ty who were halfway out the door already.

"Always," Tony grinned and gave them a two-fingered salute and promptly walked out with Ty, making sure he walked his "Tony Stark" walk.

Ty gave a few cheerleaders a small smile, and Tony had to pull the idiot away so they could get back on their mission.

"How was your break?" Maya said from the general crowd and Tony really couldn't locate her, so he flashed a ten-watt smile in the vague direction her voice came from and said that it had been perfect.

And then Ty was pulling him away because this was not working out. So the two of them decided to do Attack Plan; Bruce Wayne. The Brucie plan included both of them looking like they wanted to die, and slouching and just, in general, becoming Bruce from elementary. 

Tony nodded- this was going to be hard- he hadn't slouched ever since he got punished for it when he was 5. But Justin was in need, so Tony put that awful memory and buried it back where it had been and pulled up the collar of his uniform and stuck to the side of the wall after Ty mussed up his hair.

Attack; B. W. must've worked fabulously because, in less than 6 minutes, they were at Mrs. Sarah's room- record time for both of them.

Tony knocked while Ty tried his best to become presentable- even the worst kids avoided Mrs. Sarah in fear of the "I'm extremely disappointed with the decisions you have made" look. It made everyone feel guilty, it was just as bad as Ana's "Tony, I thought we went over this" look.

Mrs. Sarah opened the door and gave the two of them her disappointed look and then when she noticed there was no blood on either of their bodies or any bruises (that she could see- tony had made sure to cover up nice and neat.) she hustled them in.

~

"You mean to tell me, that you want to enter the dorm rooms- the sacred place as you call it Tony- of another boy who, as well as you know, hates you for rash ointment for Mr. Hammer all because you don't wish for him to go through any pain during dodgeball." Mrs. Sarah was sighing at her desk as she tried her best to put this information through her head.

"In essence," Ty said and Tony tried to hold back a snicker and failed.

Mrs. Sarah gave him a pointed look and then rubbed at her eyes and then her forehead right above her eyebrows.

Tony silently got the Tylenol in the second cabinet and handed it over to her which got him another pointed look which was also quickly replaced with- fondness?

"It's a bad idea, I know. But really, we should do at least this much for Ham-Ham," Tony tried his best to give a reassuring smile but, he possibly failed on that too.

Ty hummed in agreement and Mrs. Sarah gave the two of them a small smile and told them if anything bad happened they could rest in infirmary beds for the day.

"Be careful. And try not to get into a fight."

"We never do." Ty pulled Tony out and both of them headed to their dorms on the left-wing to Bucky's dorm.

Maybe none of this would go to absolute shit?

~

And then the world had decided to pull a prank on him again, except this time it was going to have much harsher consequences.

As soon as Ty and he stepped in their dorm wing, this boy who was built like a large dorito ( _steve_ , his mind supplied) who was apparently the self-appointed gate-keeper came right up and sneered in their faces, asking what the resident rich boys wanted.

"Nothin', we just wanna see your buddy." Ty slipped into his fake accent like wearing new clothes. Tony had always envied him of the skill until he learned it, and then he just admired Ty's tenacity to achieve any goal he set for himself.

"Barnes. James Barnes. We were hopin' you'd give us the honours of checking Ty's old locker, which is coincidentally your bud's locker now."

"We just wanna- y'know, hop in, take a quick look, get what we need and then skedaddle away." Ty nodded.

"No one says skedaddle anymore you absolute fucking buffoon." Tony whisper-screamed.

"I didn't know that before did I?" Ty hissed back.

Steve's eyes twitched and then he asked what exactly they wanted from the locker.

Ty cleared his throat twice, and then when it was apparent that the idiot wasn't willing to sacrifice himself, Tony spoke.

"We were hoping you would give us the gift of ass rash ointment."

And then Steve's whole mouth twitched and Tony could faintly hear snickers and hisses from rooms near the hallway.

"Great going there- definitely better than my skedaddle for sure." Ty elbowed him, except he didn't know how exactly to whisper so, Tony was convinced everyone in the hallway and adjoining rooms had heard the idiot.

"Shut the fuck up before they kick us out and our resident idiot has to survive the day with a rash in his ass cheeks."

Ty smirked at him as Steve asked them to follow him.

"I'm pretty sure _you're_ the resident idiot/genius."

"I will- and do not doubt me on this, I definitely will chomp your head off."

Ty hid his smile as they followed the huge blonde hunk down the hallway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> poing poing  
> \- bye, leave comments and kudos if u enjoyed!!


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